*Today marks 5 years since the day Brother was born. This is a story I will continue to tell and republish every year on his b-day.
“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony” -Revelations 12:11
5 years ago today I learned that I had made a grave decision that affected
the health of my newborn child. I made a promise to my son that day:
Everything I put into his body would give him life and life more abundantly.
Thank-you son for giving me my life back and for helping me learn how to truly live the way God created our bodies to live.
I’ve learned so much over the last 5 years.
I wish I could share it all in a single blog.
I know I still have a lot of learning to go…but this much I know…
God created everything we need for health and healing. Especially for pain.
I now know there are tons of other options to manage pain.
Non-toxic, non-addictive, safe & effective ways to manage pain.
I learned the hard way.
For me, it was pain medicine. But really, it’s all the same.
Pharmaceuticals. Prescription meds. Over-the-Counter meds. Vaccines. Chemotherapy. Allergy Shots. Insulin. Asthma meds. Antibiotics. Anti-anxiety meds. Anti-depressants. ADHD meds. Sleep aids. Pain Pills. This list goes on and on. And on.
They all have one thing in common.
They are ALL drugs.
5 years ago, I gave birth to a son who immediately displayed symptoms of withdrawals to the pain medicine that I was prescribed during pregnancy. A product that I was told was “safe” and “effective” during my pregnancy for my back pain. Sitting in my hospital room after just giving birth, two pediatricians walked in and ask if I had been taking narcotics during pregnancy. And at that moment, reality proved what my instinct had known for months before, and my world went crashing down. The pain in my heart was worse than the pain of my c-section. Guilt, shame, & confusion. How could I have possibly done this to my newborn son? Watching your newborn experience withdrawals is something no mother should have to witness. Especially when you know it was your own fault.
*Let me first say that within 24 hours after finding out this devastating news, we were both discharged and went home. My son never again showed any signs of withdrawals and has always been a healthy, thriving baby and child. I truly believe that he exhibited those symptoms for those first 24 hours for a greater reason. And that was to give me my life back. And teach me truth. I will say though that watching my son suffer from withdrawals was the longest 24 hours of my life. Longer than the 3 months I would later suffer from withdrawals.
Getting my life back wasn’t easy. And I don’t ever want to minimize what it is like to suffer from addiction. If anyone is reading this blog and you are suffering from addiction, I am here to agree with you and understand with you and have compassion with you. Addiction is horrendous. The day I left the hospital with my son, I entered into the deepest-darkest, living hell of a depression, which would soon be combined with months and months of withdrawal symptoms as I got off of pain medicine. I can only describe it as a living hell. During the time I was getting off pain medicine, every minute of every day was riddled with anxiety, panic attacks, depression, fear, confusion, hopelessness, insomnia, flu-like symptoms, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, chills, headache, and a complete disconnect from reality! Withdrawals are intense. Especially when you didn’t even know you were addicted. This went on for months while my body was trying to readjust to not being on narcotics anymore. My body was stripped of serotonin and melatonin and all the things we need to function and feel normal.
During those months, I was a non-existent mother and wife. My brain had been high jacked and I was nowhere to be found. I will never forget when my son was a few weeks old. We were sitting in the living room with him and his two older sisters (ages 2 & 3 at the time). My husband said: “I can’t wait until Brother is older and we can teach him how to ride a bike”. I remember thinking to myself: “I better not still be here. There is no way I can survive year after year living like this”. I was a miserable, despondent, wretched mess. And I thought I was stuck that way forever.
My reality was so messed up that I could not even see these 3 amazing beautiful blessings right in front of me. Oh my heart breaks for my old self during this time.
That was 5 years ago.
This summer, my son learned to ride a two-wheel bike.
I stood there in awe and watched him ride away. I thought about the last 5 years and how thankful I am that I have a loving and merciful God who loved me so much that he wouldn’t leave me as a broken mess. Today I am free.
Free from bondage. Free from addiction. Free of pain.
I wake up everyday and can’t wait to conquer the world.
I have passion. I have hope. I have peace and comfort and joy.
Daily, I live with a peace that surpasses all understanding.
I truly believe that God is glorified when our bodies are healthy and we are whole.
“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony” -Revelations 12:11
Today we are a pill-free home. Not a single prescription med or over-the-counter med. Not even Tylenol, or an Ibuprofen. Some people might think this is extreme. Extreme experiences call for extreme transformations. When you have a baby or child that has suffered based on a bad decision that you’ve made, you will do everything in your power to make that bad decision right. And once you know better, you do better. And hopefully along the way, you can teach and inspire and encourage others to do better.
I’ve been called radical in my approach to health and healing and wellness.
I’ll tell you what radical is. Radical is giving birth to your child, only to have Child Protection Services show up in your hospital room to interview you and make sure you are a fit parent to bring your child home. My husband & I sat there answering the routine questions: Yes, we were married. Yes, we had college degrees. Yes, I had a Higher education degree. Yes, we were both employed. Yes, we were Christian and attended church. “Oh wait, the pain medicine you took during pregnancy was prescribed to you? Oh wait, that changes everything. Why of course you are a fit parent and free to go home. We had no idea you were being prescribed these meds by your OBGYN”.
You see, I was just a typical mother thinking that the decisions I was making based on my doctors “expertise” were the best decisions for me & my child. Sometimes the decisions that we let others decide for us, have tragic consequences if we haven’t done our due diligent research.I made a promise to my son that I would never again make a poor decision that could adversely affect his health!
Today my son has never been on a single prescription medicine or drug.
No vaccines. No meds. No antibiotics. No fast food. No junk. He’s never been diagnosed with a sickness or illness. Eating a mostly 100% organic diet since the day he was born and making a research based decision that I would not put a single substance into his body that would compromise his God-given immune system (including, but specifically vaccines), my son is thriving in every way. He is a bundle of joy and a body full of health!
Why couldn’t I see it then?
It’s easy to recognize and acknowledge that prescription meds during an entire pregnancy isn’t the best decision. However, it’s hard to make the right the decision when you are being told differently by “professionals”.
See I know this dilemma firsthand. I was “diagnosed” with chronic back pain caused from a severe car accident. I was told that the only way to manage my pain was through pain medicine. Drugs were created by a pharmaceutical industry, who need us dependent on what they have to offer. And then we believe the lie that we need them or that they are the “only” thing that will help us. Then that lie takes on a life of it’s own, and the next thing you know, you’re addicted to a product that you thought was meant to “help” you.
I’ve been told that being addicted to narcotics and opiates is harder to get off of then crack. I believe that because I lived it. Even my well-meaning, church going, pain management doctor knew that, yet he wrote my prescription each month and handed it to me without the blink of an eye. Why? Because he too believed the lie. That drugs were the only option. How blinded we can be.
Well-meaning doctors don’t always know what is best.
I had two well-meaning doctors “caring” for me during my pregnancy.
One was a Christian that went to my church.
Both of these doctors assured me and prescribed me pain medicine during pregnancy. Both told me it was “safe” and the best option for my situation.
In the same way, I watch well-meaning doctors prescribe young children
a cocktail of meds, in hopes that they will provide “healing” or “relief”.
These doctors don’t do this because they are mean people.
These are all well-meaning doctors. I know mine were.
These same doctors though. Where are they in the after math? My doctors where nowhere to be found when the damage had been done. In the same way I have hundreds of friends whose pediatricians have not a clue that they are living the nightmare of vaccine injury. At the end of the day, we are the only people that answer for the consequences of the decisions doctors make for us.
We are stuck in a vicious cycle.
More people today are suffering from addiction and chronic sickness caused by the pharmaceutical industry in the first place. And then being “treated” by that same pharmaceutical industry. Guess how we typically get people off pain pills? We prescribe a different pharmaceutical drug. Our country runs sickcare. Not healthcare. Healthcare would not have an entire generation of children on ADD medication. Healthcare would not allow 1 in 6 children to suffer from autoimmune disease. The multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical industry has mastered Sickcare.
The pharmaceutical industry has infiltrated every level of the medical field.
And sadly, it’s starts with babies & children.
It actually starts from the moment they are born.
Hep B vaccine now given at birth? And without the blink of an eye, we all agreed.
Really? Our babies must have been born defective.
Good thing for immediate drugs.
And 49 vaccines before Kindergarten.
A very sad vicious cycle.
Is This The Best We Can Offer?
The choice is ours.
At the end of the day, every decision we make regarding our children,
regardless of who we trust or what we believe, that decision falls on us.
And as parents, we get to decide how complicated we are going to let things get.
I made things terribly complicated when I was pregnant with my son.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. If fact, it’s quite simple.
Everything we put into our bodies either gives us life or gives us death.
It’s simple biology. You either feed your body life or you feed your body death.
This includes everything from food and water to medicine to drugs.
God created health and healing. Not Pharma.
The more I learn about the plants God created. The trees. Herbs. Essential oils. Homeopathics. Real Food. Clean Food. Fruit. Vegetables. Water.
He created it all. Health is at our fingertips. How did pharmaceuticals take over?
Plain and simple: Money.
A tragic thing has happened.
The Medical Field gets to pretend they have all the answers. Our doctors have become God. And for some reason we want to push the responsibility that God has given us as the stewards of our own children, onto doctors and the medical field. I know I did when I was pregnant with my son. I prayed that God would heal my back pain, and I believed he would. But I also trusted my OBGYN and my Pain Management doctor to tell me what was “right” and “safe” and “wise”. Even though it went against everything that I felt was “right” and “safe” and “wise”.
Don’t ignore your instinct.
I will never forget the day that I voiced my concerns to my doctors about the amount of pain medicine I was taking during pregnancy. I will never forget being handed a piece of medical literature showing the narcotics I was taking were in the same safety class as pre-natal vitamins. Ha! I know now, that literature was funded by the same company that profited from the pain medicine, so of course it was “safe” for pregnancy.
And that day, I ignored my instinct. And medicine played God.
Maternal instinct is the greatest gift God gives us as mothers.
If something tells you that what you are putting into your body or your children’s bodies may not be best, follow your instinct. I ignored the heck out of mine.
I understand now that my God-given instinct is one of the most powerful tools I have as a mother. Everyday I watch this being stripped from mothers.
See the double standard is this… if we make proper decisions based on true diligence and informed consent, like properly researching the drugs we put into our body while pregnant, or feeding our children properly, or making an informed decision to keep our children free of vaccines and drugs, then those same people that put their trust in pharmaceuticals and pray for God to protect and heal them, they like to say parents like us are trying to play God.
You can’t have it both ways.
A mother doesn’t pop pain pills everyday while she is pregnant and pray that God heal her back pain and keep her & her unborn baby safe.
There are consequences for poor decisions.
I suffered great consequences for my poor decisions.
Don’t get me wrong. God is the God of miracles.
He can and will perform miracles. But I also believe God is looking for discipline and obedience and discernment and a willingness to make decisions based on His word, not based on decisions of the word of a pharmaceutical industry.
As soon as I stopped taking pain medicine, my back pain was gone.
And this I know for sure:
God created our bodies to live free of pain, sickness, illness, & disease.
Happy 5th B-day Son!
Your birth and life inspired me to seek a life of health and truth!
And thank-you God for your wisdom! To you, ALL THE GLORY!
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well” -Psalm 139:14
A LOOK BACK AT SOME OF MY FAVORITE PICTURES
of this little life that saved mine!